How to Build a Healthy Self-consciousness

How I perceive myself unknowingly is called self-consciousness.  This self-consciousness has a strong influence in our lives.  For example, if someone considers himself a lovable person, it is easy for him to relate to others, to have self-confidence and to be positive toward others or their words.  However, anyone who does not have a positive self-view, tends to hear other’s words in a distorted way and could think it is about him when it is about something else.

One well known theory about self-consciousness is called ‘Johari Window’.   This theory claims that there are four areas in everybody’s self.   One is an open area which is known to one’s self and to others.  Next is a hidden area which is known to one’s self but not to others.  Third is a blind area which is not known to one’s self but is known to others.  The last is an unknown area which is not known to one’s self or others.

Most of us adjust the open area and hidden area to disclose the right amount of self.  However, all of these four areas influence our healthy self-consciousness.  Therefore, we need to strive to reduce the unknown area by revealing one’s self and live a transparent life.  At the same time, to reduce the blind area, we need to review ourselves and listen to other’s feedback.  As we disclose and listen to other’s feedback, the unknown area will be reduced.

Of course, it cannot be perfect.  Also, there is pain involved in knowing and unmasking one’s self.  However, as we perceive these 4 areas, we understand who we are and it helps us to develop a healthy ‘self-consciousness’ and it is an important part of our character.

When we realize that, we see the importance of sharing in house church.  Without this process, we will be so busy to cover up ourselves and will live an immature life without knowing who we are.

Therefore, we need to expose ourselves for our own good.  However, some of you do not show yourself even after many years of sharing in house church.  These people talk about only kids, work or politicians and do not mention his/her inner self.  We do not grow with such sharing.  It will be good for those people to visit youth house church or single’s house church.  These young people who are much purer than us disclose themselves much deeper and through such practice, they taste greater freedom and grow to a healthy self.

One word of caution.  If one attempts to disclose other’s blind area in the name of feedback, it can easily hurt a relationship.  This is a common mistake we make.  The most important thing in the Johari window is to explore together the unknown area.  If we try to venture into the unknown area with passion and consideration, the house church will be a little piece of heaven on earth.

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