“If I could find a single man like you, I would marry him immediately,” a young single woman joked to me. This made me laugh, because the truth is she wouldn’t have even noticed me if she had seen me when I was her age. When men mature they develops a certain charm that is lacking in younger men. It’s unfair to expect the same level of maturity in young bachelors.
Marriage is an adventure that requires some risk taking. You bet your life on someone who has no track record in life, just potential. But that’s also a reason why marriage is attractive. I think it’s best to get married when you are young, soon after you graduate from college. When you get older you become more cautious and less willing to take risks. You also become more sensitive to idiosyncrasies in others, which makes it harder to commit to marriage.
When I got married, I had many reservations. The night before my wedding, my heart welled up with doubt and fear. “Did I make the right choice? She only knew me superficially while we dated. When we share our lives together as man and wife and she comes to know me very well, will she still love me?”
I longed for a mother figure, probably because my grandmother raised me after the age of 7 instead of my mother. Because of this, I actually wasn’t interested in my wife when we first met. She was too skinny and too pretty; not motherly at all. But as we got to know each other, friendship turned into love, and I decided to marry her. But doubt lingered.
My ideal wife was Wendy, the heroine of “Peter Pan”. I saw a mother figure in her: she handled household chores in her mother’s place, took good care of her brothers, enjoyed talking, and was occasionally jealous. I liked her so much I watched the Disney movie more than 10 times. Then, 20 years after getting married, I suddenly realized that my wife was just like Wendy! I married my dream girl after all!
It’s rare for someone to meet and marry their dream woman or dream man. Instead, when you get married and live together for a long time, your partner becomes your dream man or dream woman, someone you can’t live without. So if you don’t intend to stay single for the rest of your life, be willing to take a risk and plunge into marriage when you find someone who meets a few conditions you require in a spouse. You may never find the perfect partner – that comes afterward.
There are a few conditions you should look for in a spouse that are non-negotiable. First, the person you marry must acknowledge the authority of Jesus Christ and be willing to live under his rule. Second, he or she must not consider divorce to ever be an option and be willing to work out all future marital problems. Also, a potential husband must have a sense of responsibility, and a potential wife must be easy to get along with.
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