When my wife and I came to America and joined the house church, we were in our thirties. At that time, my shepherd’s wife was in her fiftieth and my wife saw something which was difficult for her to understand. Even during house church, the temperature was comfortable, but then she complained that it was too hot and lowered A/C to a freezing point. Then in another moment, she said it was too cold. My wife could not understand such behavior.
On top of that, Mrs. Shepherd who used to be kind toward us as a new young family would suddenly become cross and difficult so my wife thought, ‘Oh, no, I did not know she was such a person! She is very strange.’ My wife had to swallow some disappointment. However, when my wife turned 50, she realized that Mrs. Shepherd of that time was suffering from menopause, as she also experienced similar symptoms.
Menopause is universal for woman as they age. It is a period of permanent cessation of menstruation usually occurring between the ages of 45 and 55. It can differ per person, but many who are going through menopause experience hot flashes, joint pain, insomnia, severe mood swings and depression.
About 7 to 8 years ago, I head from Mrs. Hai Soon Chai, Pastor Chai’s wife, as she talked about menopause during the pastor’s conference as something to be aware of. She defined this as a grieving process of the woman’s body as they could no longer respond to the Lord’s command of ‘be fruitful and multiply’. In a way, this explanation made sense to me.
Since there are several benefits to know about menopause and its symptoms, I want to inform you of several related facts.
First, many shepherd’s wives are in this age range. Therefore, when they are irritable, unkind and different from their regular selves, please try to understand their sufferings rather than being disappointed or judgmental. Also, please remember that it could be a burden for them to prepare meals with their physical pain, so, I urge many men and young people to pitch in with some help.
Second, when a wife is prickly, don’t respond in kind. “I cannot believe this. I gave her an inch and she takes miles!” Rather, please be more discerning and patient with her. For many shepherds, they understand the critical role of wives. Therefore, they tend to be understanding with their wives and may feel that they are taken advantage of when they encounter bad temper of their wives. However, before you act rashly, please think about this. Menopause may be the culprit!
Another problem is a crash between adolescent children and their mom who is going through menopause. Mothers may be angry and frustrated with teenagers, but children themselves may be baffled with their irritable mom. It is important to remember that she may see things much worse than what it actually is because she is going through menopause.
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