Really Living

“And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward.” Matthew 10:42

Discouragement makes us struggle with the question “What if.” What if I had done it differently? What if I started all over differently? We hope the past would bring us comfort, but comfort is not to be found. Somehow, the confidence of doing the task well has slipped away, and we get angry at the thought of being powerless. Here, we get upset over little things that normally wouldn’t bother us.

Finally, we become physically exhausted with stomachaches and muscle cramps. Things are not the same again and there is no appetite for anything. However, if we stop here physical exhaustion may take over and we may never find renewal and refreshment for the soul.

A small animal caught in a trap waits in uncertainty with fear of what the time may bring. There is no struggle but only helplessness and hopelessness. In times of discouragement, we only wait for bad news, and things we cannot undo seem to surface. So we cry, “I can’t go on anymore! I had enough…just let me be.” We are stuck, and our thoughts keep us from really living.

The echoing sound in our mind that says “I can’t” keeps us from realizing God given power to really live. Do you know that God empowers or enables us to really live at the cost of His only Son dying in our behalf? The matter of the reality is that God has empowered us to live and gave us spiritual gifts to thrive. What can we do if our attempts to contribute to the body of Christ have let us down? How do we pick ourselves up?

After six years of youth ministry, I became a children’s pastor. I had discipleship classes for the children on Friday nights. I remember one night a little girl name Suejin came to me and started tugging at my pants. I looked down and asked her, “What’s the matter, Suejin?” She said, “I don’t know, but my little brother is crying in the bathroom.” So, I went to the men’s room and found Sunmin crying. He held up his shirt above the waist and his pants and underwear were covering over his feet.

I asked Sunmin, “What’s wrong?” He just cried harder. I realized after looking in the toilet he had pooped but couldn’t wipe his butt. I gently asked him to turn around and bend over. I wiped his butt and pulled up his pants and said, “Now, go out and play.” The following Sunday morning he run up to me and held my leg tight. Through our intimate experience in the bathroom, we became inseparable.

However, I started to question myself, “Am I called to wipe little boys’ butts? Is this part of my ministry?” I became discouraged because I wanted to become a respectful pastor but here I am doing things people would only laugh about. So, I told my pastor what had happened and I complained about how parents needed to help more. The words my pastor told me that day I will never forget. He said, “Be faithful in the little things and God will be faithful in the bigger things.”

When I look back and see how the Lord brought me to NLF, I don’t see myself having shaken the world, won thousands of souls, and made hundreds of disciples for Christ. But, all the small things I have done faithfully led me to this end. I praise my Lord because I have fought the good fight of faith from a relationship and not for a relationship. Be faithful in the little things in life and God will clearly give you a vision worth dying for.

Pastor Tae

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