When I was serving as a shepherd for singles’ house church, I saw many young people getting married.  Also, I officiated marriage many times and became interested in their married life afterwards.  When they have problems, I get to talk to them and sometimes have more serious counseling session with them.  Through that experience, I found out to my surprise that many married young couples do not have a regular sex life.

Another clear fact based on meeting with many couples is that a happy couple certainly have a healthy sexuality and are very satisfied with their sex life.  It is not clear whether the good relationship causes good sex life or vice versa.  However, one definite fact is that satisfactory sex life in married couples is crucial in happy marriage.

One misunderstanding among young people is that sex will be naturally done once they are married.  Since most people are curious about sex and have a sexual drive, they expect that sex will happen without any effort after marriage.  That is not the case.  The curiosity and passion for intimacy can disappear quite quickly.  Therefore, unless an effort is made to manage and develop, it is easy to become a sexless marriage.

That is why married couple need to make efforts to maintain the healthy sex life.  It is important to be careful not to hurt partner’s feelings.  Especially during sex, it is important to be courteous toward each other and never hurt partner’s pride.  When a baby is born, if baby sleeps with parents, this can be a cause of preventing couple from being intimate.  That is why it is right to train the child to sleep in a separate room.  Also, physical exhaustion can prevent couples from intimacy and this pattern can become a habit.  To prevent that, setting up a day when both are not to be too tired is a good practice.

It is known that when men do not stay fit and become heavy and have bulging abdominal, they tend to have a problem in sex life.  Specially, high blood pressure or high cholesterol have adverse effect so it is important to exercise regularly to stay healthy.  Since we have many new believers, I want to say that smoking is one of the main culprit of impotence because of its impact on blood vessel.

On the other hand, it is not right to impose too much spiritual meaning in sex or to be addicted to it.  It is important to remember that sex is a gift from God for a healthy marriage and a way to become one.  It should be enjoyed in the heathy boundary with good understanding and management.



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