I see people remarry in haste sometimes. People who remarry after being widowed, in most cases, do so with the blessings from people around them, but those who remarry after divorce oftentimes skip the proper procedures and remarry in haste, not wanting to draw attention. The reason for that probably is the general thought of remarrying after divorce as something not so honorable.
In fact, the bible does not allow one to divorce unless it’s something fundamental such as adultery, physical abuse, or neglect. Also, even if one’s divorced, the bible encourages that person to forgive and reunite with the spouse and otherwise live alone. It states that you should live in this fashion unless your spouse passes away or has remarried to someone else. The reason for such belief is that no man can break the unity of what God has put together with mere divorce, and if you remarry while your spouse is still alive it is committing adultery. Therefore, even if we divorce, we have to do our best to forgive and work on reunification.
There are debates on whether a Christian can remarry after the divorce. One side claims it is not permissible and another side claims it is permissible if efforts to reunite have failed. Regardless of which side you take, I believe there’s no reason for anyone to remarry in secret or in a hurry just because you consider it to be not so honorable. It gives more reason to repent any sin there is before the Lord and put a closure on your past as much as you can in current situation before starting over.
One more reason not to remarry in haste is that divorce rates are higher the 2nd time around than the first. In your first marriage, people tend to endure and put effort into fixingmarital problems. However people usually remarry because there are certain needs that must be met. If they don’t get the result they were hoping for with the union, they tend to give up easily. Also, in the first marriage there are not many reason for trouble other than that of the married couple. But in remarriage, they have other members involved such as children from the previous marriage who can cause additional issues and troubles.
However, what makes remarriage most difficult are the unresolved inner problems. If you don’t resolve the hurt of the past or problems that contributed in the failure of the first marriage, there is a higher chance that you will be faced with the same problems in your 2nd marriage. Therefore, an effort to heal such wounds must be done in some way to prevent such events from happening. I once considered offering a life course for those who are thinking of getting remarried, but I don’t think people will be eager to take it. Therefore I have created a check-off list for those who will be remarrying to check off things about each other.
For those of you who are thinking of marrying again, place a request to me and I will provide a personality test, some light reading materials, and a check off sheet you must go through as a couple before getting into a marriage so that you will both have time to think through counseling. So, for those of you who are thinking about getting married again, do not rush but take enough time to consider through this process.
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